A flurry of red feathers blew across the deck; a burst of bright color against the cool blues and whites of the pool enclosure. Another cardinal had found his way inside the screening and could not find his way back out.
The enclosed pool and deck area have brought us many hours of joy. Wind and rain and sun can flow through- but mosquitoes usually get blocked by the meshed screen. Sometimes we find the occasional bird or snake or toad inside, and then they disappear. We don’t know how they get in and we don’t know how they get out. They just do it somehow. Once in a while we have to guide a bird towards a door that we have propped open to help them out. We walk toward the bird, the bird flies away from us, and soon it flies right out the door.
But we are surprised at how many cardinals find themselves inside and can’t find their way back out. They are the least likely to understand our attempts at helping them find to the door. They flap away from us in a panic, so intent on escaping the human they can’t see that wide open door.
This particular cardinal flew into a corner of the screen wall and flapped furtively against one spot. Over and over he flew directly into it, beating his body against it, trying to get outside. He seemed sure that this was the way out. He could see freedom, but he just could not get to it. A cardinal with more subdued brown coloring, most likely his mate, sat in a bush nearby offering encouragement and hope.
I walked over and opened the screen door for him, in hopes he would turn around, see it and fly out. He was less than five feet from the door. If he would only stop, look around and see it. But his eyes were focused on the way he thought led to freedom. He could see where he wanted to be- the birdbath, the feeder, the trees, the bushes laiden with berries and his faithful sweetheart were all there. Maybe he was thinking that if only he would focus harder, think more positively, and visualize what he wanted, or maybe even pray hard enough for it he could get there.
Okay, I know I am giving human attributes to a bird, but who really knows what goes through a bird’s brain when it is trying to solve a problem?
Anyway, I returned to a seat next to my husband and together we watched the cardinal in silence for while. I think I was feeling quite superior at that point in time. Foolish bird. Why didn’t he realize he was not getting anywhere with the approach he was trying? Didn’t he know that if an approach is not working it is time to try another one? Yeah, I was definitely feeling smug.
As we sat quietly watching the frightened bird beat against that same spot in that same corner, growing more weary, more frightened, I commented casually on the intelligence level of cardinals. I think I noted that they must be the dumbest of all the birds who gathered in our yard. My husband made the rare choice of not taking the long way around his point, and said quietly, “I think we’re all like that sometimes.”
I knew he was right. How many times have I tried the same approach over and over to make a change in my life, thinking that if I tried hard enough and long enough I could succeed? If I maybe just created a vision board, or plastered some more positive quotes up on the walls, or read another book by another spiritual leader, then maybe I would find the way.
I got up to help the bird, knowing he would be terrified of this human coming toward him. He would be so frightened that he would leave the area he was sure was his salvation in order to escape this larger threat. As he flew from point to point trying to get away from me, he eventually would fly out the door to freedom. He would probably never understand exactly what happened.
How many times have I escaped to where I really needed to be only because outside forces left me no other choice? I desperately tried to make something work for me, until fear and panic forced me to run away. And, some time later, I found that I had run to where I needed to be all along. I suffered anxiety, fear, and weariness when I really didn’t need to.
I thought about other birds that seemed to intuitively know where I was directing them as I led them toward the door. And at that moment I chose to be like the bird that allows itself to be led to safety and freedom. I chose to stop wringing my hands and looking at where I want to be and feeling trapped.
This doesn’t mean I believe that following great spiritual leaders, and visualizing positive outcomes and prayers are foolishness. But they are a means to an end. Inside of me is the ability to stop beating my head against a wall, to look around and to find the way out. The leaders, the books, the workshops, the formal worship services all are there to teach me how to see, not to replace my own vision.
We all have so much potential inside of us. Much more than we will ever know how to use in this lifetime. Surely we can tap just a little more of it than we are using right now. No need to try to understand all the potential we have for all circumstances. Just reach for what we need right now, right here in this moment, and in this present circumstance.
